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The Loneliest Number

Aug 14, 2014
Originally published on May 7, 2015 1:29 pm

The loneliest number is one, of course! Every answer in this final round contains the letters "O-N-E" in consecutive order. Who will prove to be our ONE and only champion?

Heard in Episode 324: His Dark Material

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Now we're going to crown this week's grand champion. Let's bring back, from Good Day, Mate, Laura Killeen.


EISENBERG: From Spinoffs - Annie Brogan.


EISENBERG: From Thong Song Gone Wrong, Sid Watal.


EISENBERG: From Scrabble City, John Weicher - to play our Ask Me One More final round - and our puzzle guru, John Chaneski he will take us out.

JOHN CHANESKI: This final round is called the Loneliest Number which, according to the brand Three Dog Night, is the number one. And, like the word loneliest, every answer is going to be a word, phrase or proper noun that has the letters O, N, E in consecutive order. Now, we're playing this spelling bee style. So one wrong answer and you're out. You'll only have a few seconds to give us an answer. Last person standing is our Ask Me Another grand winner. Here we go. Laura - the rank claimed by KFC founder Harland Sanders.


CHANESKI: Colonel is correct.


CHANESKI: Annie - this adjective describes to the tunes of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

ANNIE BROGAN: Oh. Oh, looney.

CHANESKI: Looney is right.


CHANESKI: Sid - the man behind Rocky and Rambo.

SID WATAL: Sylvester Stallone.

CHANESKI: Yes, correct.


CHANESKI: John - the neighbors you try to keep up with.

JOHN WEICHER: The Joneses.

CHANESKI: Joneses is right.


CHANESKI: Laura - this character is the secretary to James Bond's boss known as M.

KILLEEN: Ms. Money Penny.

CHANESKI: Money Penny, yes.


CHANESKI: Annie - someone who is not of royal blood, like Kate Middleton.

BROGAN: Commoner.

CHANESKI: Commoner is right.


CHANESKI: Sid - in basketball, a type of defense that's not man-to-man.

WATAL: Zone.



CHANESKI: John - this medical professional determines the cause of death.

WEICHER: Coroner.

CHANESKI: That's correct.


CHANESKI: Laura - in "the Sound of Music," Captain von Trapp's would-be fiance held this title.

KILLEEN: Governess. No, that's wrong. That's wrong. That's wrong.

CHANESKI: No, sorry.

KILLEEN: Damn, damn, damn - everyone's going to get this right.

CHANESKI: Let's see if Annie knows the answer.

BROGAN: I have no idea.

CHANESKI: OK. Annie, you have to step aside. We'll see if Sid knows the answer.

WATAL: Baroness.

CHANESKI: Baroness is correct.


CHANESKI: We have to say goodbye to both Laura and Annie. Thank you, ladies. And now we're down to two. It's down to John and Sid. John - a person who hunts with certain trained birds of prey.

WEICHER: Falconer.

CHANESKI: Falconer is correct.


CHANESKI: Sid - Bing Crosby is often described as this type of singer.

WATAL: Crooner.



CHANESKI: John - what Gerald Ford did to Nixon after he became president.

WEICHER: Pardoned.

CHANESKI: Pardoned is correct.


CHANESKI: Sid - the nickname of child beauty pageant contestant and TV reality star Alana Thompson - three seconds. Let's see if John knows it.

WEICHER: Honey Boo Boo.

CHANESKI: Honey Boo Boo is correct, child.


CHANESKI: And, John, you are our winner. Thank you, Sid. Nice going, John.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, John. You're our Ask Me Another big winner. And lucky you - we have a great prize provided to you by our VIP Anthony Jeselnik. Not only will you get his recent comedy DVD "Caligula," but he has agreed to provide you a few tips for the next time you are asked to roast someone.


ANTHONY JESELNIK: Five rules for roasting by Anthony Jeselnik. Number one - don't get too drunk. Number two - don't stay too sober.


JESELNIK: Number three - it is better to break rule number one than it is to break rule number two.


JESELNIK: My last one I'll ready - the other ones are for you. Never actually agree to take part in the roast. They're awful.


EISENBERG: That is our show. Thank you so much for listening. And if would like to be a contestant on our show, just find us on Facebook or Twitter. Just look around for NPR Ask Me Another. And you can be a puzzle player anytime, anyplace by downloading our podcast from iTunes, Stitcher or TuneIn. ASK ME ANOTHER's puzzle guru is John Chaneski.

CHANESKI: Hey, my name anagrams to oh, heck, ninjas.

EISENBERG: Our house musician is Jonathan Coulton.

CHANESKI: Thou jolt a cannon. Ophira Eisenberg.



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